you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize