This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
