I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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