Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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