It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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