I'm really into asian looking animals
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
