You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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