the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
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we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
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Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
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