This dress was meant to end up on your floor
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
