Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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