he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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