he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
