This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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