Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
