his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
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Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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