I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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