I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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