Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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