I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
