He uses pillows to masturbate.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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