I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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