Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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