Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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