another moral hangover. fuck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
