You're completely useless in the revolution.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
