She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
