Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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