I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
