I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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