i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
