It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
