my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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