Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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