we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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