No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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