if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
