we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
