You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
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Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
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Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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