Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
