there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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