Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
