I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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