its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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