apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
