He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
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My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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