sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
