Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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