So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
