Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
