You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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