So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
