I think im going to throw up on grandma
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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