I need help removing her.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
