remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
