break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
