Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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