Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
