he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
