people are starting to question the shark bite story
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
