And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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